My childhood memories include several instances in which I was scolded for a certain “willful” attitude that I displayed. The scoldings usually included the comment, “You did that deliberately, didn’t you?” The consequences for being willful and deliberate were not pleasant. I came to learn that deliberateness was not good in a “good boy”.
Of course, I didn’t stop doing the “deliberate” things. It’s just that, when questioned, I denied them. And afterwards, even though I generally enjoyed these creations, I felt bad and guilty, and took no responsibility for them.
So, as childhood continued, a trend developed. I became more analytical and thinking oriented, and began to experience less. (I spent more time in my head, and less in my heart.) I’m not saying my parents set out to “deliberately” inhibit my abilities to feel and create. But since I did adopt some of their beliefs at an early age, my creating abilities did suffer. Lots.
As an adult, my experiences in life were ultimately dissatisfying — whether or not I produced the results that I set out to. If I didn’t succeed, I felt like a failure. When I did succeed, my adopted beliefs about willfulness and deliberateness made success feel unfulfilling. So even my wins, which were not uncommon, didn’t feel like wins to me. That’s what I mean by suffering.
Then, in 1990, I did Avatar®. Wow, what a wake-up call. At first, it seemed a bit shocking to imagine that beliefs of mine were actually creating the dissatisfaction I was constantly experiencing. I had always thought that someone else was “doing it to me”. Was it possible that I was actually doing it to myself?? Intellectually I said, “Naaah.” But at a deeper level of feeling, one that I’d almost lost touch with, I knew that it was my own beliefs that were the cause of my own suffering.
Luckily, the first thing I learned in the course was how to quiet the mind (even mine!). Quieting the mind allowed me to examine my beliefs dispassionately, without resistance. I learned how to operate from a level of source consciousness, rather than the level of ego and personality that I’d previously existed as. And the Avatar® tools and techniques that I learned allowed me to change the beliefs that were limiting me, and then create new beliefs that empowered me. I experienced succeeding and being satisfied. I began to create the the things I’d always wanted in life, but thought were impossible. Pure magic.
In retrospect, it seems that Avatar® didn’t really teach me something new, it just showed me how to finally be who I already was….myself. I discovered another me, one that had always been scared and in hiding. I became a me that I’d always dreamed of, but had given up on being.
I’ve heard it said that the age of miracles is gone. Not for me. The results that Avatar® showed me how to create in my life are miraculous. I say that without reservation.
Actually, the end of the course was really just the beginning. I’ve continued to use the Avatar® tools successfully ever since. It’s been over 5 years, and they’ve never let me down. And I’ve never been disappointed. In fact, I am totally satisfied.)…
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